Loving Tributes – My 2nd Grade Students

My second grade students thank the women in their lives with love, honesty, humor and heart…Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Me with some of my students, purest of hearts and their beautiful smiles…Go Angels! May 20, 2014

Happy…A 2nd Grade Version

I am incredibly grateful and honored for the gift of being able to spend the majority of my day with the most amazing 7 & 8 yr olds (my second grade students) I know.

In addition, I am beyond thankful for all the parents who have trusted me with their most precious creations.

I put together the following video of my second graders and all the other second graders at my school to share the treasure of their jubilance and love for life…Enjoy!

I Wake In Gratitude

 

My eyes are soaked in the beauty, sorrow, resiliency, history and power of Dinétah. Take the time to get to know what my eyes see and you will see that each day I wake in gratitude,

My heart is molded with the love, attention, strength, wisdom, patience and tenderness of my ancestors. Take the time to get to know what my heart feels and you will feel that each day I wake in gratitude.

The swirls in my fingertips and in my toes bind me to my place, to Dinétah. Take the time to get to know my connection to the land and you will know that each day I wake in gratitude.

I was home this weekend. I was in the place of my ancestors, my elders, my grandparents, my parents, my brothers and sisters. I was in the one place that will always recognize me.

Each step on my run this weekend made me more grateful for forgiveness, trust, kindness, truth, peace, joy, love and strengthened my connection/respect to the land.

I wake in gratitude,
-J

Shiprock Marathon & Half Marathon – 2014 – my hometown, my place. I finished in 2:15 yéégó!

The people of the Navajo Nation Welcome You – Shiprock Marathon & Half Marathon

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tse’Bit’ai (Rock with wings)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posing with my medal

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cousins

 

 

 

 

 

Pre-race stretch

 

My post race binge. Trying to decide between burgers at Shiprock’s Chat & Chew

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be Brave. Be Strong. Be Happy. Be Free. Be You. Be About Now.

I had the first of three races in seven days yesterday. That 10k was the most challenging yet of all the races I’ve run lately. As I was traversing through the lush, rolling hills on the vineyards dirt roads (some sections with loose dirt) and trails I couldn’t help but think about how priceless being yourself is. There are times in my life I failed majorly to listen to my inner voice, and allowed the opinions and perspectives of others to guide my thoughts and actions. More than ever I am grateful to have had those experiences. Each one has made me realize the past is not today, it will never be. I am not perfect (I’ve never claimed to be). I have made cowardly, shameful, hurtful, purely selfish choices. I am here, now, and I am not those mistakes. I am not my struggles.

Being yourself is worth it. I love being busy loving those people who love me and allowing that love to invade my heart and mind. I am truly grateful for the tender, patient way I am loved by the people in my life. They have loved me even when I felt I wasn’t very loveable.

I love who I am. I love the balance and peace being honest, truthful and fearless has given me. I love where I come from. I love the way I think. I love the way I trust. I love the way I love. I love the now. I know who I am. *BIG smile*

With love, gratitude, joy and deep respect,

-J

Shoe check – these babies have to get me through another 10k & Half-Marathon back to back next weekend.

 

Fueled by the power, love, joy & kindness of a peaceful heart.

 

Run Through the Vineyards – April 26, 2014 (preparing to run not cheer)

Three Words, Eight Letters

Grief is a solitary journey. No one but you knows how great the hurt is. No one but you can know the gaping hole left in your life when someone you know has died. And no one but you can mourn the silence that was once filled with laughter and song. It is the nature of love and death to touch every person in a totally unique way  -Unknown

The last time I ever held & felt the warmth of your hands.

http://seattletimes.com/html/localnews/2018110441_westbrook01m.html

We talk. Marsha, mom, grandma, Camiel, Hannah and I, we all talk. We talk about you. We cry. We laugh. But most of the time it is our own private journey with grief. With grief? Yes…with grief. It, grief is its own being. It comes when you least expect it. It comes completely uninvited. At first, it dragged me everywhere. I had lost all control to it. It was completely unrelenting. With a tight grasp it began to suck away the energy, the will, the love, the trust and the ability to live in each new day. Its pain was sharp and ever-present.

Even after all that, grief, did not kill me. It always left just enough light, enough life and strength to live each day. Grief has always left enough for me to find balance and open my eyes. Then one day, something strange happened. I was okay. I felt strong. I felt clear, alive, open, and at peace. I discovered grief was not trying to kill me, it is resilience. Grief has made me realize how resilient I can be. On this two-year anniversary of your death I am astounded by my resilence. I’ve learned I can live, love, give, trust and be vulnerable again.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not honor you. You are in my thoughts. You are in my smiles. You are in my laughter. You are in the warm touch of my hands. You are in the softness of my lips on a tender cheek. You are in the deep, tight embrace of each hug. You are in every whisper that contains those profoundly tender three words, eight letters…I Love You.

– Always Your Auntie

 

Full of smiles, love, peace, & joy – April 23, 2014

 

Going for a run – April 14, 2014 (Three races in seven days)

Writing without fear. Writing with love…

My 2nd Grade Students 2013-2014

“Everyday Acts of Kindness” has been a constant topic of discussion in my second grade classroom since the start of the year. My class cubs are an extraordinarily amazing group of human beings. I’m in awe of the amount of cultural capital/forms of knowledge they bring to each discussion at such young ages. I could listen to them all day. Building on  “Everyday Acts of Kindness” we began a discussion about – Needs and Wants.

To introduce the concept we read the book, A Chair for My Mother. This is a heartwarming story about a family & the values of saving and working together towards a common goal after all their belongings are burned in a fire. To build on the theme of community & giving the author illustrates how friends and neighbors bring furniture to the new apartment. However, noticeably missing is a television, x-box, etc. As a class we discuss how the girl, who along with her waitress mother, save coins in a big jar in hopes that they can someday buy a big, new, comfortable chair for their new apartment — the kind of chair her mother deserves after being on her feet all day in the Blue Tile Diner. Into the jar also goes the money Grandma saves when she gets a bargain at the market.

It’s a good story that builds on our discussions of “Everyday Acts of Kindness” and “Giving”. After our discussion, I drew two large circle maps (Thinking Maps – used to brainstorm all of our thoughts about the concept of “Needs” and “Wants”). In the center of the circle map we wrote the topic we wanted to brainstorm. Some questions we wanted to answer were – What can we not live without? What are things we need to live? What does your heart need? What does your body need? If you can have anything in the world what would you want? We are still building on our thoughts and will add to the circle maps tomorrow. Tonight as part of their homework they need to ask their family – What are the families needs? They also have to come up with some ideas about what their community may need and what our earth needs? The families needs, communities needs, earth’s needs will be written into the circle map using a different white board marker color in order to aid in our ability to classify the needs. Throughout the week we will add more to our maps as we prepare to organize our thoughts and write a paper on “Needs” and “Wants” and what we each have the power to do in making our world a kinder place.

My 2nd graders spent some time brainstorming a few of their “Needs” & “Wants”

Adding to the Circle Map (brainstorming) 12-3-2013

Recording what he believes he & others may need.

There have been moments in my life that have been extremely challenging and I have struggled. I’m not perfect, however with each challenge (I now view these challenges as pathways) I have discovered the power gratitude can have in my life – it all began with realizing I can not control circumstances, events or anyone BUT myself. With each pathway I’ve clung to cultivating an attitude of gratitude and have expected myself to extend that further into my everyday actions and thoughts. So now that my student’s actions are springing from a desire to be kind and show kindness to themselves and others I want them to realize that they are not too young and no act of kindness is too small to help their families, communities, and planet. As we discussed other ways we can/could show kindness one of my students had a wonderful idea to share their stories with others “so it can help them if they are having a sad day.” Another said “maybe I can write a funny story to cheer them up,” another said “I can write a letter and tell them why they are important.” I said, “YES, YES, YES!!!”  They made me cry. I was deeply moved to witness their hearts in action.  So we decided as a class to write letters to whomever needs cheering up, to whomever just needs to hear a funny story, or to whomever needs someone to tell them they are important.

This is where we need your HELP. My students need people to write letters to. They are ready to write letters to anyone who request one. I hope, no, I pray that I can get responses to this blog requesting a letter from one of my second grade students. So I need at least 21 request (I have 21 – 2nd graders). They are excited and looking forward to putting their hearts into each letter and are hopeful it will make someone smile. My class cubs mean the world to me. I want them to always be filled with questions. I want them to always question. I want them to be able to put things into perspective. I want them to be able think critically and not settle for the status quo. So, pplleeaassee…help me be of service to them.

If you would like to request a letter from one of my students please tell us a little about yourself and share with us your story and need. We would like to mail you a response. If you are not comfortable with sharing you address I understand, I can share my email address if you prefer.

Help my second grade students realize that their HEARTS, their WORDS, their TIME and ACTS OF KINDNESS can bring peace and love to their life and to the receiver’s life as well.

With love and deep respect,

-Joyce Ann

Joyce 12/2013

Giving, loving and living…

…sigh. What would you do if you knew how much time you did not have left on this earth? Would you tell your family? Would your heart overflow with gratitude? Would you be kinder? Would you say “I love you” more? Would you forgive yourself? Would you apologize to those you hurt or wronged? Would still allow fear to paralyze you (emotionally and physically). Would you just give up on life and waste the bit of time you do have left? Would you deliberately wound and hurt (get back at physically, emotionally, and spiritually) those who hurt you knowing you would be gone in time and not have to deal with the rotten, bitter, vile, hateful energy you left in the universe?

A few weeks ago while in New Mexico a dear friend shared with me his heartbreakingly sad news. His father was diagnosed with brain cancer. The doctors shared with the family that he had at best 9-12 months left to live. I was home in New Mexico at the time having had already spent a couple of weeks there to restore balance, take part in ceremony and savour the love and warmth of my family and place. My dear friend took time away from his father’s bedside on Veteran’s day to spend the day with me. I accompanied him on a short road trip as he was to give a Veteran’s day speech in a small community. I look back on that day and I am truly grateful for his time, his willingness to listen, to comfort, to understand and words of wisdom. I appreciate his honesty and perspective and it helped me tremendously. Unfortunately, for him his father slipped away with death the next day. He did not have the 9-12 months the doctors had predicted. There was no more time. Days later I asked him if he was there, with his dad when he slipped away. He shared that he was with him moments before. He said he knew his dad was leaving and he knew what he had to do, so he stepped out of the room. He knew his dad well enough to know that he wanted the time to die alone. I cried.

My mother is the best and the strongest person I know. She is a fighter. She is a survivor. She is my mama. My mother has always been bluntly honest with me when it comes to knowing about the world. She didn’t filter her discussions about love and sex. She told me how different they both are and how easily you can confuse the two. She told me exactly what to expect. She was honest about what I would feel. She was almost completely right about the emotions that came along with it. She was also very honest and open with me about the violence she lived with. She told me about the time she thought she was going to die by his hands. She told me when she decided to leave and never return to that abusive relationship. There are other things she didn’t have to tell me. Through her actions and words I saw first hand how she cared for my grandfather, her father. How he was her everything. I saw first hand her generous heart and kindness when she would take in family who had no place else to go. I saw first hand as I tagged along with her and we would walk to people’s houses and she would sit with them and just listen, listen to them share their stories of their current struggles, pain and grief. Sometimes she would cook them a meal while we were there. She would fry up some potatoes with spam or ground beef and make fresh tortillas. She would tell me to go see if there animals needed water or food. She didn’t have to tell me but I knew I was to be quiet. I knew these visits were not about her or me. I knew that she was GIVING what she had and that was her time.

You’re probably thinking right about now –what is this blog post about? I share the aforementioned because they are both two completely different moments in my life but both have something in common. Time.

I know how much time I don’t have. Because I know, I want every person in my life who has ever had an impact (small or big) to know that I value them and I am truly grateful for them. I want the people in my life to KNOW that they are important, that they matter to me, I care about them and will forever be grateful for them and their time. Through out my life there have been people who have gone out of their way to show me how much they care by gifting me with their time. Some have offered advice, words of encouragement, understanding, patience and simple kindness. Others such as my mama have shared intimate, personal, heartbreaking never told before stories of life to show me that life is good and that people are good. I can still hear her words, “Awéé, you are so good to people. You are good to your sister. You help people and are so trusting. That is how I know you.” Words that have touched me deeply and words that I am so thankful for. My heart melts and I transform into the little chiizi Navajo girl every time my mom calls me, awéé (baby).

Family, friends, co-workers, people I have only had the pleasure of spending a short time with, YOU all have to know you did something for me (in your own unique ways), you touched me and showed me how to be kind. I don’t want to ever be too late and regret not telling you. I am kinder because of YOU. I am full of gratitude because of YOU. I am full of love because of YOU. I tell those I love, “I love you,” everyday because of YOU. There is no fear because I know who I am. I would not and will never, never, never deliberately set out to hurt anyone. If I have I am so sorry. I will and would do all I could to make it right. I truly am grateful for amazingly good-hearted cubs. I am grateful for an amazingly resilient, strong Navajo family. I am truly grateful for my place, the land that heals me. I am grateful for the smiles, words, & warm touches. I will live my life giving, protecting and loving. Giving and protecting the land that has always healed me. Giving, protecting and loving my family, my community, nation (Navajo Nation) and friends. Giving and loving myself.  I have an amazingly beautiful life filled with amazingly beautiful people and places. Thank YOU! Thank YOU! Thank YOU!

I love with all that I am,

-J

Love. Love. Love.

Joyce Ann- 11-22-2013 –love, peace and understanding

I am thankful for…

Gratitude cards to be delivered to seniors who will receive a Thanksgiving meal through the Meals on Wheels organization

We have had a busy days in my second grade classroom. I’ve thought a lot about how fortunate I am to have SO much to be thankful for. During all this self-reflection I began to think about how I can share this process with my second grade students. I wanted them to know that they too have so much to thankful for and what they have cannot be bought in a store. So we spent weeks talking about relationships, our connection to each other, our connections to family, friends, land, water, and the air. I am truly inspired by the passion and insight my six and seven-year old students have. The daily lessons, shared stories, readings, videos and research led us to write about…everday acts of kindness, opinion pieces on what we are thankful for and we wrote a short letter to an older adult who will not be spending the holiday with family. I was very fortunate to have a friend whose church agreed to deliver the cards to each of their Meals on Wheels recipients during the holiday. Over the course of a few days, my 2nd graders thoughtfully wrote heartwarming cards to the seniors. We wrote a little bit about ourselves, described our plans for the holiday, and sent the seniors messages of friendship and love. The end result is beautiful.

Wishing you all love, joy and endless peace

-J

A heart full of gratitude, appreciation and love

My second grade students can’t get enough of this song  right now. At the end of each day they have an opportunity as a class to choose to individually say something kind about another classmate or dance/sing. Another teacher in my grade level shared “What does the fox say?” on Monday and my kids have been super excited about it all week. As their chosen reward we have all been Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding AND  Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-powing…they can’t get enough of this song and I can never get enough of them. I love what I do **smile**

There are no words that can possibly describe the love I have for each of my class cubs. They are truly 21 of the most amazing 6 & 7 yr olds I know. Each day is an absolute blessing and HONOR to be in the same room with them. I am blessed with their smiles, their laughter, their honesty, and their love.

Every day my kids show up (we have one of the best attendance percentages in the entire school) and are completely genuine. They are some of the most tenacious individuals I know. Some come from single parent households or live with multiple families in a small apartment. All qualify for free breakfast and lunch. Some are in the custody of a grandparent or aunt/uncle because a parent is either incarcerated, in rehab, deported or lost custody due to abuse. In the face of all this adversity they show up so happy to see me each morning full of stories to share. I am inspired by their genuine positivity, strength and ability to overcome their fears and be completely and bluntly honest.

At the end of each day I reflect and think about the day spent with my class cubs. I replay the day and think about what worked and what didn’t. The one thing that is a constant is the amount of insight they have even at such young ages. This leads me to think about all that I have learned from them and continue to learn from them. They have taught me that there is no time to get swept up in the hardships of life and that the ability to put things into perspective is an absolute blessing. Life is full of struggle. The way in which we engage those struggles helps to shape who we are. My class cubs remind me of the importance of being hopefully realistic.

Life is good! I am full of love. I am loved! Working at being mindful, practicing mindfulness is renewing my connections to those around me. No longer am I too busy to listen, to comfort or just hang out with a friend. Mindfulness is also helping me to be more selfless and to show more compassion and be more compassionate.

The simple act of taking the time to think about what I am grateful for and who I’m grateful for brings me back to being myself and I am peace and joy.

– J

Writing and healing…

Love…hope…love….hope

Peace…joy…peace…joy…

Grief…pain…grief…pain

Dark…light…dark…light

Life…Death…Life…Death

New Beginnings…

Shiawéé (my baby) in Seattle a few days before she was shot & killed. -RIP- Nicole Westbrook

Forever shiawéé -RIP- Nicole Westbrook

Have you ever watched someone you love slowly slip away from your life?

I walked into your room, walked right next to your side, grabbed your hand, leaned over and whispered “Aunty is here, Baby Girl. Aunty is here,” and I gently kissed your forehead. Your hands were so soft and so warm. My lips lingered on your forehead because in that moment you gave me peace and hope. Yes, you…you gave me peace and hope. Seeing you, seeing you fighting for your life gave me hope that you were going to recover and be okay. All I wanted, all we wanted was for you to be okay. I kissed you and I looked at you and your eyes were open fluttering as if trying to tell me something. There was so much rapid eye movement and then there were tears. The nurse told me all the eye movement was due to your brain injury but to this day I know you knew I was there. Shiawéé you knew I was there and you knew mom was coming. I called your mom as I stood next to you. I put the phone to your ear and your heart rate shot up. Your eyes moved even faster as if you were searching, fighting your way back and then the tears streamed out.

Witnessing life slowly slip away from this world is really hard to explain to someone who has not lived it. The phone call at 4am on April 22, 2012 plays over and over in my head as loud and ever present as the life support machine in the hospital room. One is a sound of despair and crying in bitter grief. The other is a meditative pulse, slow and predictable, a humming of breath that resonates in the body through a comforting yet disquieting sound scape.

When someone slips away from your life, slips away with death you are jolted onto a road that will take so many twist and turns, ups and downs, that you feel like your are on the worst roller coaster of your life and the ride never ends. There is nothing you can do to make sense of the moment someone you love slips farther and farther into a world not meant for you at that time.

Wednesday morning when I arrived at the hospital I immediately went to your room and when I walked into your room and saw the doctor, mom and everybody there was no question that your time with us was coming to an end. There was no struggle. Your eyes no longer flickered. They kept you completely covered to keep you warm. The machines did all the breathing. The doctor checked your eyes one last time and made the call. We were all there and we sat with you until the end. None of us had ever witnessed death firsthand (except Aunty Charlene). We all tried to will you back to life, but it was over. Once the struggle ended, you looked so peaceful. Being there when you died was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. It was also one of the most profound experiences of my life. No matter how sad, I wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to be with you, shiawéé and loving you as you left this world.  You died in peace to meet dy’ in’…the creator. The Diné way is not to hang on after you are gone. They say if we hang on your spirit may attach to a place, something or someone so we are not to bind you to this earth with our grief.  We must wash up, take táádidíín (corn pollen) and go on with life.  I love you so much, Baby Girl.

Writing and healing with the knowledge that new stories are waiting to be written. Recovering, rebuilding, loving and living with peace and a grateful heart.

Náá’ahideeltsééh, – Aunty